Often I feel weary of my connections with people. Sometimes i just want to curl up in my bed and cry. I have been plagued with feelings of emptiness and aloneness. Just wanting to run and escape, like everyone around me. Or just put my head in the ground like an ostrich and scream where no one will hear or even care if I am alive.
Human suffering seems to be a pervasive theme in my life. Deepening into the dark corridors of my souls journey, where dark is reflected in my loved one’s sufferings and where a reprieve is but a moments breathing space and diving inward deeper and deeper, peeling through the layers of unloved, unaccepted self…mirrored in fear based imagery in my life where life turns around every corner…what appears dark becomes light, what appears light is superficial play dissolving into the whaling of all the unheard cries for the tortured animals, sexually used girls, lonely women, old folks with no one to hold, unheard cries of the street person…and yet, for now , this planet is my home.
I care so deeply at times, i feel my heart will burst open a flood of torrential tears, for all i cannot hold, or the tears i cannot wipe away, for all the screams in the night from young girls raped by strangers.
And yet, with all my hearts breaking there is love, always there is love, more and more love…learning to love it all, a planet that turns its back to all but the young, the good looking, the wealthy, the charming.
So, I wonder, the innocence with in my heart wonders, what is this pain that wishes to love, to love this planet all the way home, to where we remember. The final remembrance.
The one heart that embraces all of humanity through her golden enchanting love. Permeating the vast, expansive pain that this planet is. Gently, tenderly knowing that there is a reason.
How else are we to know the greatest, the finest, the divine essence of our nature without the utter and complete absence. This absence is calling, calling forth the love within us all to arise, to permeate all our frozen places, to emminate with grace. To warm the corridors of your heart, to fill them to where they begin to overflow, with greater ease and then with full grace…in all the ways that lighten and brighten each souls burdenous journeys.
To simply touch another is to invoke divine ecstacy…when the touch eminates from the souls infinite divinity. And so we touch and we pray and we dance and we know not when the grace will move in and through our own soul, yet we continue to touch, to reach, to embrace this blessed planet, not knowing who we help or bless, but truly knowing that without love there would be no meaning to being here.
With love, the seeds move through the darkened, hardened soil and with nurturance from sunshiny radiance and moist dew and the kind words of appreciation of the seed sowers the plant arises and then in all her glory she blooms for all to see. Her majestic radiance a true eye catcher to all passersby.
With awe and wonderment and true mystery i open my heart to all that is knowing i am as a child of innocence and so i love, i love and i love and the dew streaks my cheeks when i behold a seed having made it through the darkened, hardened soul and i so long to help each one, as if children of my own and then one pops through and i can offer my tender words of love and encouragement and then one more and another and then we are shining, one to the other…enveloped in the arms of grace…we bloom, radiant passengers of a long and weary journey over many, many lifetimes, and yet, we are here. We have arrived. We are the awakenend ones.