Tag Archives: depth of knowing

Gentleness is Strength

awakening

When I feel my vulnerability…I tremble inside. There is a subtle terror in revealing one’s self. Allowing the masks to drop and unveiling what is most real, can feel pretty scary. It’s like walking around partially naked and feeling like everyone sees that you are different. Noticing that everyone else has on their familiar persona and you are alone in your simplicity.

Sometimes there are others who see, understand and relate. Usually, most people feel a bit uneasy around a defenseless being. Probably because they feel their own protective masks and need to play them out regardless. They seem to get that you aren’t really interested in playing out their game any longer and are not sure what else to do.

I just continue to be imperfectly naked in the ways that are allowing my facades to  drop and to pass through. I am what I am, no more, no less. Not too interested in the greed game or the I’m important because game or the I’m a victim game. Just being here and allowing less to be enough. It allows for a simpler orientation. Not a lot of big story too fill in all the space with. The dramatic responses are becoming  irrelavent and not that interesting.

Who are we without all this. There is a feeling of emptiness that is quite different from being in the stories of the world. A quiet that is a deep aloneness. Sometimes lonely, usually just quiet and every once in a while mind chatter seeking to engage with someone.

Although there is less of a need to engage with anyone’s stories. They are so much of the same old victim paradigm. Not really much new. Then I meet someone and I can feel their heart participating and there’s sincere eye contact and a shared inner knowing that is palpable.

Then the words don’t really matter much. There is an easy natural connection. No one trying to impress or downplay or strategize…just a simple knowing. It’s easier this way. I walk away feeling met and seen. Now being naked is an honest revealing.

There is true strength in this form of gentle connection. Deeper, more aware, penetrating moments piercing through to the fabric of existence. There is a shared knowing which transcends all the misunderstandings of this world. This is communion, deep and real.

Then it is gone. Or is it?  This may actually be a doorway which when opened allows for more true union. Human beings long to belong, to be seen, to get it right and to be good enough. What if we are already home, fully loved and accepted and we just need to be brave enough to be what we are.

When we are transparent in this, we are becoming what we have always been and always will be. Perfectly imperfect beings. Never will we be good enough or get it right in the standards of this world. Yet, we will always strive to hit an even greater mark. Until we realize there truly is no target, we spin the wheels of the mind endlessly stratagizing the next great  conquest. We call this strength.

Of course it seems to take great strength to continue these pursuits.  We are considered brave when the hunter shoots the lion and puts his head on the wall.

How absurd is this strength that ceaselessly tries to get the advantage in the situation.  True bravery comes from revealing and living from the heart. Not superficially, but, rather from a deeper unwinding of the heart. Through so many lifetimes, the heart has been jammed up by the head. Rarely allowed to demonstrate its true strength. We, go along lifetime after lifetime until finally there is a breakthrough. The heart is now here and boy does it hurt.

We have much heartache, betrayal, abandonment, abuse that we have experienced and that we have inflicted. True  courage is allowing the heart to feel again, to breathe life into this beautiful, humble servant.

This is where true strength begins to arise. When we are willing to feel this pain and to forgive it and to love again. This is where real life begins and drama ends. Yes, it hurts…more than anything. Yet, without this remarkable companion life is deadened and the old drama stories get very old. When the heart becomes freer of the old, numbing ways, there is a refreshing, new start. There is a newness, an innocence that is vulnerable, free and open.

Courage comes from the French word ‘cour’ meaning heart. They are inseparable. There is no true courage without the heart. There is mental play…which when felt into is quite superficial. The realm of the heart runs all the way to the soul. They are aligned.

The heart responds to the urgings of the soul.  Which again, can leave one feeling quite alone. The callings, guidance and simple whisperings of the heart are in a different language than the mind. They are far more simple, yet they are profound in their ability to quickly break through the illusions of this world. For this is the greatest tool to awakening which we as human beings have. You would think that a tool this amazing would be commonly employed.

Most are afraid of the true strength and power of the heart. It’s rewards are quite different than that of the mind. Love is not considered a strength in most of the world.

To be gentle is not a power tool, so it is used very infrequently. Rarely is it even eminating from the heart center.  When it is,  it can and will open doors in ways that create the most beautiful transformation for the soul.

This is the mystery, the magic and the magnificence of who we truly are. From the center of our hearts, the soul enters and shifts reality drastically. Who or whatever you think you are is eradicated and adjusted into a human being capable of extraordinary miracles.

These may not add up to millions of dollars or a new Mercedes, but, I assure you, you will feel a shift in reality that will ‘blow your mind’ open.

Once this opening occurs, you will know what you are. Once this is experienced there is a longing for this to become one’s home eternally and truly it is this.

Yet, there is still necessary shedding of the identity that  will then allow more and more and more heartfelt presence. There are moments or passages where there is a reprieve from this healing, but those who are here to awaken usually only get small breathers.

This unwinding of the ego is painful, yet there is an ever increasing simplicity to orient from. This gentle simplicity is your strength, with less and less story to defend, there is more and more presence to live from. Strength becomes gentleness becomes strength.

To your strength;

Andrea
303-545-5485

Empty

ripples

Feel into the quality of your inner world. Notice what challenges and obstacles and feelings are within your world. Now imagine just for a few moments that you could just wish all this away. Now there’s a clean slate, an empty drawing board. Simply breathe into this emptiness…allow it to be empty for just these few moments. Deepen into yourself more and more fully, until your sense of self gets blurry and then poof it’s gone. Like magic what you think you are is gone and there is nothing here.

How is it to be empty of all that you are use to carrying. The habitual drama and ceaseless mental interpretations of reality are pausing…there is this moment and this moment…just breathing into this moment fully. When your mind wanders come back home to this breath…take it in fully. Let this be enough for right now. Feel into more silence, deepen into this absence of story. Feel the quality of stillness of not needing to do anything for just this moment. It’s refreshing…like passing rain on a warm summer’s day leaves everything clean and clear. Let this peace rain all over inside you…cooling and soothing your overactive mind. No need to fill this moment with anyone else, just you, what’s truly you. This deep, well of silence.

Just allowing this silence to fill in all the old drama places and ceaseless mental traces. They are fleeting ghosts passing through now. Let them pass…they have no hold on you in this your true nature. Just passing through sometimes jingling a chain or two, trying to get you to respond. All these old stories, mind thoughts, feelings, memories are just these old ghosts taking up residence in your inner sanctuary.

You are not here to live old memories of yourself or others. You are here to be free each and every moment to engage from this refreshing presence. Turn your back on these ghosts…forgive them for what you thought they did that imprisoned you and them. Surrender them…set them all free.

Once the ghosts settle down and realize you are no longer interested and have stopped replaying the old tapes, they will cease to exist. You may be wondering, what am I without all this ‘stuff’? My question is what are with all this baggage? These ghosts are heavy and they haunt your every move. They are filters that you look at life through and they distort what is real and what is true.

Just for this moment allow them all to be free…every last one. Do this with me…I release all that is past and gone…I forgive and set free all these attachments. See yourself just simply walking by all these ghosts…hundreds, thousands…walk by them now. Keep walking, walk towards the emptiness. Keep moving more deeply into the emptiness, the spaciousness, the silence.

You may still be able to hear them in the background whispering for you to come back to look again and again and make them come alive again and play them out in your life so they become ‘real’ again. I ask you now…is this real, is this reality? Are we just too afraid to let go and find ourselves at home in a peaceful reality? Are we addicted to pushing the replay button and to ceaselessly circling round and round doing the ghost dance, shaking those chains and watching the old bones come alive. Must we live through the dead filter of old memories? Are we afraid there will be nothing left if we let go?

Let’s find out…if you are with me this far, then feel in deeply into the deepest emptiness that is here in this moment…devoid of all. What is still here? This that is here now, what remains is interconnected with all…the all that is empty, the all that is full. But the clinging is easing, the grasping, the relentless trying to make life happen on all these old terms. This is gone…now there is a newness an opening into this moment. This is new. This is without memory or mind…this is full with reality. From this vantage point, you can see, feel and touch existence from within you…soon there is no within you or outside you and now there is no you.

An empty vessel is a blessing. It is freedom from all the illusion. There is no other freedom. No amount of money, love or even health will set you free in this way. Until one has realized…touched, felt, tasted, made love to this, there is still suffering…a perpetual grasping for what can never truly be our home.

This is always here awaiting your disillusionment with the outer world…awaiting your surrender into the void of silence…where all stories cease to exist, where the quiet is breathtaking, where at last in this moment…I am home itself.

It’s from here this inner sanctuary that we truly live. All else is attempts at finding this home in the outer world. When this passage is fully embraced, home is experienced everywhere. The boundaries drop and all is seen and experienced from this awakening to what is. We enter each moment as if it has just rained and left us a clean, clear refreshing encounter with life.

many blessings;

Andrea Jackson
www.RadiantAwarness.com
303-545-5485

Re-elating

relationship

Closeness, we love and hate it. It brings us warm and fuzzy feelings from that chemical oxcytocin. We melt and merge and feel lots of juicy love feelings. It’s really the feeling of oneness that allows us to move out of all of those cooler separate feelings we feel we need to thrive in.

Or do we?

Can we have warm and sort of fuzzy feelings and move in and around in the world in the ways that we need to?
How much discernment do we need in our behavior and to see what the other is up to?

Balancing closeness with discernment can be like walking a tight rope. Sometimes it seems that around every relational corner is a surprise ad not always pleasant.

Can we turn these surprises into the material needed for growth, evolution and thereby increase our joy threshold as we expand? Can we allow relational mirroring to bring us fully in front of ourselves? Are we willing to see ourselves deeply and completely?

Or do we turn to stone…co-dependently together in all the ‘right’ ways…daring not to rock the boat. There is a fine balance between relating in the ways we truly need for growth and over challenging and losing the fun, fuzzy factor.

I have not mastered this as of yet. I am looking more deeply into this mystery. I know that I love both…the warm, fuzzy closeness that merges into oneness and the courageous mirror that brings forth deep inner mastery.

Just be ware that if you cling too long or if you’re too discerning, you just may turn to stone.

Andrea…need any type of awareness, transformation or long distance clearing? I’m your person…303-545-5485

Fabric of Existence

As we stroll through our lives. Within all the ordinariness and the unusual and the impossible, there lies a depth of knowing. When this is activated, acknowledged and lived from, we awaken to the true nature of reality. When we bypass this depth, we become entangled in many superficial life passages. These experiences can inundate, overwhelm, preoccupy and deny reality.

So much of our existence here is swept up in these dramas and yet, there are these precious moments when life itself stops and something amazing is revealed. When I say amazing I am referring to the peaceful, blissful fabric which is always here underlying all this drama. As we struggle with or day in, day out patterned ways living, there are these moments when we realize that there is more to all this.

Yesterday, while connecting with someone in her office, we both heard a woman shrieking. We looked at each other quizzically and both leaped for the doorway. Within a few moments, reality had changed drastically. We both picked up speed quickly and ran to the woman. She had dropped her 6 week old baby on the ground and was devastated. Quickly assessing, as I am comfortable in crisis and have clearing gifts, I began clearing the energy, reassuring the woman that her baby was ok and directed her to breathe into her belly and stay grounded. I knew her baby was distressed because she was distressed. Yet, she was inconsolable for about 15 minutes. The baby was fine as I had intuited.

It was interesting to see how the mother was hysterical, yet, the baby was calm. The mother was blaming herself while the baby, moved gently in her arms. The mother had condemned herself and was confessing to all the immense problems she had in her life. Single mom, father didn’t want the baby and more. For at least 15-20 minutes she did not notice her baby at all.

During this experience, as it has been for most crisis, I felt immensely present and could feel deeply into a peaceful presence. I placed my hands on the woman and her baby and her little girl, simply allowing this energy to pass through. It was a silent offering, here for her, when she was ready to receive it.

I spoke with her today, the day after her crisis and she was quite grateful that her baby was fine.

We often carry so many drama stories within us that in any given moment, most of us could probably spew out a series of lifelong victimizations. Yet, at any point, we can stop, notice the preciousness right in front of us and embrace it fully. When the mother was able to stop the stories and breathe into the new life that was within her arms, she could see that this young guy was a real trooper and was handling the experience quite well. Of course, this was verified by the EMT.

Funny, how in a moment of presence I knew he was fine and it was his mom who was carrying an immense amount of suffering, who needed the clearing and support.

I know it is easy for me to have seen all this, because it was not my baby falling on the sidewalk. I was removed enough and able to feel the underlying peace that this situation was calling forth through me. This is always the fabric of each unfolding situation. The more we realize that this is the reality, the more we awaken to an ease and grace of all

Andrea

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