Tag Archives: grace

Forgiveness

 

enlightenment

 

Nothing heals a broken heart like forgiveness. As long as we keep telling ourselves that others have hurt us, that they are to blame then we miss the blessing of our own healing. When we project our pain onto outer circumstances, or run from it by overworking, or going to other relationships, or deny it by pretending to be other than what we are truly feeling, than we keep ourselves from the only source of our healing.

When we stop the stories, all of them, and begin to embrace our pain, then there is a shift. We are becoming responsible for our own healing.  We come into these lives with an achilles heal, a core pattern. We choose particular parents who will hurt us in ways that make it impossible to deny this pain. We then choose friends or partners who will continue to play this out with us. If your wound is about abandonment, those we love will seem to abandon us in ways that throw salt into our wound. If instead of blaming them, we move inward to our hearts; we have the blessed opportunity to heal.

Learning to live more and more fully from our an inner communion with heart and soul creates wa

ves of unconditional compassion for ourselves and for others. When we realize that this human experience is painful, we see that we are all hurting in different ways. When we can shift our perspective from feeling like we’ve been victimized by something outside us to realizing that this pain is inherent within us, then we soften. As we soften, we deepen into ourselves in ways that relax the defensive patterns and allow for more presence, rather than fearful story telling.

This presence feels like a homecoming.  Now, there may be moments when we realize that everything had to play out as painfully as it did, for us to finally be willing to come home. All the ways in which we play out separation are perfect. When we are ready we learn to pause and communion or come into union with our true nature. As we begin to orient more and more fully from our true nature, it becomes our residence. We may still experience very painful situations and we know we can come home. We can remind ourselves to do whatever will quiet our minds, whatever will soften our hearts, whatever will return us to our soul. Sometimes we take a quiet walk in nature, or a soothing bath, drink lots of water,  hold our dog, cry into a pillow or journal our feelings, hold. We learn to do whatever works in the moment to soften into the truth of our being.

As we let go, we allow everything to simply be as it is. We stop fighting, struggling, deceiving, running, controlling. We breathe into our beingness. Now we can notice that we have an inner world. In this world there is a vast, uncomprehensible reality that is soulful and heartfelt. No one has truly ever hurt us here. We are not victimized. We can begin to see that everything that happened is perfectly orchestrated for our awakening. When we are within this grace, there is nothing to forgive. There is such a palpable awareness of love that we’re able to see why we may have been hurt or why we may have hurt others. We can see beyond the veils of separate illusion and embrace everyone, every experience, everything as having contributed to our wholeness, to the awakening of our heart and soul.

Every great human being has endured and forgiven. This allows for a transcending of the experience.  Our heart and soul are the vehicles for this transformation. As we cultivate this way of being, communion becomes our home base. We know longer dwell in the suffering, we return as quickly as possible, seeing more and more quickly the truth we are needing to embrace about ourselves.  When we are awaken, we realize that we never really leave this home, that we have never truly left this home. We simply chose to play out experiences in order to evolve. When we have learned particular lessons or have evolved beyond the need for having to experience this through others than the experience stops, is no longer an attractive choice.

Older souls, feel the familiarity of this cycle. Letting go more quickly and deepening into one’s self allows for more clarity and more ease to respond with. Then the outer circumstances are secondary to the inner learning taking place. We respond from our hearts and souls and the old story is left behind. Going in more deeply and acting from a more complete sense of self brings relief. Others may or may not support or even understand this shift. What you begin to see is that this doesn’t matter as much. It is difficult to explain this to others. It is your communion with your heart and soul. By acting from this deeper inner knowing you will be relating to your world from a growing sense of peace and well being.

This is the peace the transcends the understanding of the world. You are now living as the greatest vehicle for peace in your world and on this planet. Let others be curious and wonder how you move through life’s challenges with more grace and ease. Forgive them their lack of understanding and live your life as the example.

Trusting this Dance

beauty
Finding ourselves is a deep, lonely, often painful walk into the unknown. There is an almost constant feeling of shedding skin…more and more and more. Often, I am unrecognizable. There is no landing. Just a deeper and deeper dropping into. Nothing to hold onto…we fall into this abyss. Or so it feels to be a dark emptiness. Rarely would you meet anyone who would understand this or even want to. The aloneness feels unnerving at times, yet, superficial connections feel boring.

I am here, yet, I do not know what i am at this point. There is so much shedding that I am raw and I feel a pervasive sadness for having undertaken this life. Had I known it would hurt this much I would never have begun. That this undoing would rip all meaning from my life and leave me so vulnerably naked. That my hot tears will bring no relief…I know. At this point all one can do is shed the tears, helping the lingering fears to soften, to melt. I would wish this pain on no one. Yet, I know this is for everyone. There is the undeniable awareness that we will all journey a similar path of undoing.

I walk ahead and may it lighten the load of those that follow. A reprieve is here. I am softer, a deeper layer broken through…a painful wall relinquished. And so it is…walls, barriers, pain, suffering, sadness, release, reprieve…new territory. I am a bit relieved. I am still here in someway. Yet, I know nothing of what I am.
What is there now…there is only trust. All else is empty.

So, I feel inward and I ask for help. Help me be here now. I cry…so lonely in this passage. Lonely in so many ways, for so long, for so many days. Letting go of old ways, of past days, of memories, of people, of hopes, of dreams.
I am an empty basket…not needing to be filled…just letting the tears melt what’s left.

I don’t know where I am going. I don’t really know where I’ve been. I am learning to trust in my heart and this moment. Breathe with me…let’s be with the tenderness within our hearts…just breathing…slowing down…breathing even more slowly…gently. What does it feel like to trust? Does it mean dropping into the smallest form of connection…like our breathe? Does it mean letting this be enough for this moment? Just breathing. Fear waves moving through…yet, still trusting that my breath is enough. I feel some bodily pain and my mind resisting…just breathing into all this…trusting.

Like a frightened child trusts their mommy’s soft voice ‘everything is going to be ok sweet heart.’ We learn to trust this breath and to treasure this simple way home. We trust that we will breathe and it will be ok. We will still be here in someway, in some form. We change, we evolve, we unwind, we unfold. There is presence here now. We trust that we are this presence and although it hurts like crazy mad, we still trust that this homecoming is what we are here for. The old ways just don’t work well anymore. The games are dried out, empty. No real escapes left, no one to blame…just this letting go and this rising trust.

Beginning as simple as breath, then simple noticing, I am here…some heart ache beginning to soften, a little more ease and even some grace…beautiful music playing and I feel I am beginning to dance again. To rise up from the ashes of a worn out life, yet, again and again and again…I arise for this dance. Gracefully, like a rose subtly beginning to bloom…her petals delicately opening to the morning sun…calling her exquisiteness forth.

It is time…time to open, my dear. Breathe and trust that you are here. What was no longer needed has fallen away.
Death in all her powerful surrender has taken what has worn out away from you and now you may live again. A new life begins…lighter and yet, she is wary…how will she dance now. Where will she dance? With whom will she dance? Tears for all those she has loved and released. All those she wished to dance forever with…leaving the dance floor. She dances every move from the pain of her hearts grieving for all those she has loved and released… so many souls, for so many lifetimes. Once again she dances alone…never wanting to feel this again, yet, knowing this is human love. To love with all our hearts and to dance this fully into our magnificence.

We are so old. Have known and loved so many, yet, the truest dance is within this aloneness, where our hearts are broken open and now the sun begins to shine once again. There is new ground…a settling of the emotional waves and a resting. There is no need to dance right now…just trust. Simply breathing into the life, death and rebirth which is dancing us now.

Purity of Intent

white lotus

Sometimes life seems to throw us all around. I wonder what it’s all about? I’m revisiting old painful ways of relating and there is also a newness arising. I am seeing through the façade of old unloving ways. I’m noticing that there is a truth or clarity present as I continue to seek out the love within my own heart. There is a purity here and relentless longing to open to real love.

I feel into the pangs of old ways, that are still quite familiar. Overworking, over reaching, feeling unworthy, afraid to stop, afraid of ongoing aloneness, the silence. Yet, this is all fading away, as I relax instead of overwork, reach inwardly rather than outwardly, slow down, cultivate patience and rest into the silence more than the seeking. I feel a genuine worthiness at home within myself…the aloneness is deeply fulfilling.

This is my true home. Everything is empty outside this. I feel more
restful, less desirous. Needing to prove anything is becoming an old memory, a relentless ghost that is letting go. I am simply here. Finding my way through openness, an open hand. The clenching hand is relaxing now. Just letting go into this intimate awareness. There is a softening acceptance. We are this when we are free.

Long journey…still a bit tired and a little weary. Yet, there is a comfort in finding home. I notice that there is an ease here that is almost never present when I’m with most people. Do you notice this too? There are no urgent tasks, other than what you may need to relax. A few deep breaths, a releasing of the outer world and just sinking into this purity. All is well in this home. All is quiet. There is a growing serenity.

Breathing into my heart. My heart is here, is yours? Yes, I feel our hearts are in peace. I am worthy of this peace, are you? Say with me, ‘I am worthy of this peace. I am worthy of this love. No matter what, I am worthy. I am free to choose this. This is my home.’

Now, we notice the walls we have put into place in and around us that block this purity, this peace, this love from entering.

Am I not good enough and so I keep sabotaging connections that I value? Do I fight to prove my worth, only to lose everything I valued?

Am I unlovable and do I continually choose people who will let me down, disappoint me? Am I afraid to be seen and do I hide my true greatness and inner beauty with people who cannot see my true nature.

Am I afraid to give up the games and so I play them to exhaustion? Am I feeling invalidated and am I desperately seeking outer recognition that is never truly fulfilling?

Please write more in your own journal. Let these blocks tumble down now.

Stop playing these empty games out with yourself an with all others. It is divine right that YOU ARE WORTHY OF THIS PEACE. It is what you are most worthy of.

Let’s recognize this fully together. Reflect on some of the above games that you are playing…how does it feel inside? Not so good…empty, tiring, exhausting. Right?

Breathe into your inner sanctuary, allow this purity in for a few moments. How does this feel? A relief…freeing, softening, even loving. Right?

You can come home to this peace now, but you have to surrender one thing.

This one thing is the willingness to stop playing games within your heart. Everyone has an impeccable truth teller within them. We can play the separation games out, always trying to obtain something. Notice, there is never any lasting peace. Only temporary reprieve from the insatiable desiring for……you fill in the thousands of ways you are pulled away from your peace every moment.

When we can pause this cause and effect cycle and feel into our peaceful home, then the separation game begins to stop. Will I go unloved, unseen, invalidated? No you will begin to feel a deep well of peace and love that will fill you in real and lasting ways. All the emptiness from all the separation games will fill in with this love for yourself and for others. Slowly, as you stop playing the old games, you will feel a peace that strengthens your worthiness. From this worthiness, true self esteem arises and you begin to feel more lightness filling within you. Bypassing the painful way, opening to the loving way.

Now there is guidance from the heart, the sacred truth teller. When your heart speaks to you. Stop, listen and act. Cultivate this…stop, listen and act. I encourage you to stop playing the games. They offer less and less and take more and more of your heart and soul, leaving you with a very painful emptiness, a soulessness. Some will lose everything and still continue the separation from heart and soul.

We have played this out many lifetimes and now we can come home. The doorway is open. Take my hand. If we are to continue, we must bring each other home now. Stop the games, listen to your heart and soul and take right, timely action. Be the worthy, noble being that you truly are. Let this inner peace and love direct you through the games, unhooking you from the separation of your outer directed world.

Welcome to the purity of your true nature. Now you can fill the vessel with the peace and love that you are. I assure you all else is coming from your inner separation and thus it is perpetuating separation. Healing of separation is temporary. Coming home is eternal.

eternally yours;
Andrea
www.radiantaareness.com
303-545-5485
Call for an extraordinary home coming.

Inner Connection

glow

We play out so many karmic connections until we realize there is a better way. Karma is necessary to learn about ourselves, to evolve more into loving, sincere people. We can bypass karma having to play out as much if we are willing to deepen into our being and access our truest connection. This connecting is like coming home. It is about forgiveness of all the people and events we have called into our lives to teach us. It is to learn more directly, more openly from within ourselves, thus bypassing many difficult, suffering situations.

If we are truly willing to step off the karmic wheel of perpetual life lessons then we can begin to learn more gently, easily, effortlessly from within our own soul. This enables to move about within ourselves and in the world without as much drama. The drama drops. It’s no longer attractive and we begin to cherish this inner communion. Drama is as old as time, so this shift requires devotion and dedication. The more one is orienting to their inner knowing, the more the drama begins to cease.

An inner connection begins to synch up as the main relationship in life. The inner world becomes more alive, more tangibly real. The outer drama, is just a distraction for coming in and feeling into the peace and emptiness which will sustain in ways the drama never could. Notice that most of our experiences seem to be ladened with same repetitive beliefs we have been carrying most of our lives.

We came to heal core issues; like I’m not  good enough, or I’m unworthy of love and meaningful support. No matter how good something appears at first, the old core wound begins to creep back in. Instead running after new experiences to show that the painful belief is not true. Come in instead and just notice that these core wounds are seeking to be held within in a new way. This is about unconditional love being offered within. This loving acceptance allows us to stop playing out the wounded behavior enough so that we can begin to change our outer behavior.

If our wound is that we are not good enough, we will feel this unconditional love is present within us to met it. To bring in the feeling of being more patient and tolerant with ourselves. It may also encourage us to not take more than we can handle, thus failing yet again. We learn to balance our lives out in ways that we are able to care deeply for ourselves and learn to show up for others in balanced ways. When we listen or feel the inner words and nudgings they begin to guide is particular ways that help us to succeed. We may not win the big lottery or reach the top of our profession or create the greatest contribution for humanity or we may.

It just doesn’t matter as much. When we are aligning more fully with our inwardly guided purpose we feel a deep abiding connection to what is truly real. This is the catalyst of a whole new way of living. It enables us to feel a freedom from all the old collective mindset. We can more easily step out of all the old archetypal stories of hero and victim consciousness. then a simpler, purer love connection arises which is about being the love which we are. This will not effectively be used to rescue. It’s more about that saying…teaching people how to fish, rather than giving them fish.

When the victim consciousness stops being rescued, the victim begins to see that they can choose to awaken to a new consciousness or drown. Of course, we have played all these victim, perpetrator, rescuer stories out forever on our planet. Coming home to this realization needs a lot of internal support in the form of insight, awareness, unconditional love and direct guidance around right action. If we overlook these connections and continue to play our new situations, we will find ourselves back on the karmic wheel in the exact same place. This is why so many situations start to bring up the same unhealed beliefs as before. Vey familiar aren’t they.

This time stop and enter into communion with the answer to all this repetitive suffering. Isn’t all getting boring at this point? Has it felt painful enough? Are you ready? Great…then come on in.

Let’s take a brief dive in. Breathe with me, feel into your heart, welcome your heart…the source of the unconditional love connection. Now welcome in your soul…breathing in more deeply. Pause feel into this deeper connection. This may take a minute. We’re just making a connection. Now breathe into your third eye, between your eyes…your guidance for direction in the world resides here. Connect to the crown of your head…where we connect with our awareness and awakening to divine presence.

Great…these are your power connections. There are others within us, but these are the most important now. Feel into being a little more a whole and a little less needy of outer direction.
Recognize that all true power eminates from within this sanctuary. Randomly throughout your die make these connections. Notice if you begin to hear words from deeper within or nudges that help direct how you go about your day. When you are involved in drama, pause for a few minutes and access this inner knowing. Ask, what is most helpful for me to know now? Listen or even better write out your answer. I have a notebook I write in and ask this question almost everyday. It truly helps me to the answer. It may not as directly related to the drama as it is to the understanding that we most need inn that moment.

What we receive from our inner knowing is not ways in which to go back into the karmic lesson and replay it or fix it, rather, it is about how to get out of the cycle completely. This is more about true freedom, not temporary fulfillment. Pausing and deepening, listening and the acting is the way out of all the repetitive suffering. Have you had enough yet? Are you tired, bored and frustrated? Stop, don’t grab for a new life experience, simply connect and listen and use your life experience to free you rather than entrap you.

I assure you if you are lying, controlling, running, attacking or clinging you are stuck. There is one way out of this…develop this inner connection. Then take action to apologize for your mistakes freeing up the karma and most importantly learn from the lesson by behaving from a more mature and aware place within you. If your behavior has harmed an animal, child, adult anyone forgive yourself and apologize either through your words or through new more loving behavior. Listen to your inner connection to learn how to best make amends to yourself or to the other.

Cultivate your inner communion. Come back into peace with yourself. Ask for inner guidance. Listen or feel into this connection. When you know the right direction act on it in a timely manner. If you procrastinate for your egos timing or you don’t follow through at all…no problem…you’ll get to play it over and over again until you can take responsibility for your actions.

Honor these inner connections by making time and space for them. Commune within as much as you can. Cultivate this as your real home. Your inner and outer world will begin to take on the same peace. You will find new, more freeing opportunities, your world will resemble the inner peace which you are honoring.

with great peace an love for your homecoming;

Andrea
www.radianawareness.com
303-545-5485

Just Wondering

rainbow sky

Wondering is a spacious quality. It allows for life to unfold. It entwines curiosity with quietness and the result is openness for life to enter. When we plan too much, expect a lot, need life to bring us what we want in all the ways that we approve of, we strangle this quality. Then we get resistance. Within all this resistance is our suffering. We get wound too tight and we act out through drama.

Wondering is like a breath of fresh air. It opens the door for possibilities that didn’t previously exist and enables life to flow to us with greater ease. When we can step back, push the pause button and let life flow to us, then there as an ease. When we pursue, pushing, pulling and prodding at experiences then we lose sight of the bigger perspective.

What if all this life is choreographed perfectly from the vantage point of our soul. What if every encounter with every person is called into our lives to show us that we are the reality makers. That what we sow, we reap, that who we are, we are seeing through the ways we interpret each and every experience. What if what seems bad or wrong is really an attempt to have us expand our mindset to incorporate new ways of seeing? What if what we dislike is pushing us to let go of our judgements and to look from a larger, more wonderous vantage point?

When we let go of our death grip on reality…we are exposed to more of what we were resisting before. Then we can live more freely, less attached to the behaviors which caused us suffering previously. We can invite in the more wonderous ways of being with everything that arises in our lives. When we are willing to drop our story and just wonder, there is an expansive moment which shifts reality. We can begin to feel the edginess shifting and can feel new freedom within. We can drop the old story line, which creates more space for a new way of being to arise.

Sometimes, we may have to take a long pause, if the story is old and repetitively played out. This long pause is the invitation to this freedom. In these pauses, we are allowing grace to enter and to take over for us.

Grace knows how to dance within your life. She knows how to set you free from your suffering. Invite her in and watch how life loosens its death grip on you. Watch how miraculous new ways of being simply express through your thoughts, words and actions. Truly she is a masterful dancer.

All that is needed is to wonder…what if there is a better way? Pause for this wonderous way to enter each attachment to suffering. Watch how easily you begin to move and dance with her. She is your greatest companion. She loves and accepts you in all that you are and wants nothing more for you than your freedom. Be grateful for her she is yours now and forever. Just remember to wonder with her…

Your companion in awakening;

Andrea Jackson
www.radiantawareness.com
303-545-5485

Alone in Silence

flamingo

Sometimes we have to crawl out of a hole and risk looking up again to see what we are really made of. Life has ups and downs and turn arounds and when we are spry we can dance and move through all this with grace, at other times it’s hard to know what up is. So we calculate and strategize, tell ourselves stories and fearful lies.

Even knowing what up is can be quite perplexing. Maybe we are in a life experience that feels jumbled and crazy and we respond by being arrogant and lazy. Often there are many choices, which way to go, how to fly? So we look around at all we’ve created and we become honest about all that we’ve hated. We begin to see that there’s more than just little me.

We let friends in and we notice our dog, we sit still for a moment and write a blog. Than it begins to flow and my sense of self starts to grow. I’m not alone in all this silence. There’s really aliveness that is living through me and I feel my link to all of eternity. I gradually let go and simply just know that each little word is setting me free…to just be.

I look again and now I am more…I feel my love and things I adore. I’m fond of so much and yet I can see that to know real love is to truly be free. So I remember I have been here so many times before and I’ve well rehearsed stepping through this door. I sit quite still now and simply breathe and allow spirit to picking me up from my knees. The loneliness is real it pangs in my heart and yet I know this is a refreshing start. A life free to live all that is mine and to release and set free all to the divine.

I know this well and yet, I still struggle. What is this dance that drops me in a puddle? That confuses my mind and leaves me with rubble? Where is the elegance, the peace and the joy? Why do I feel like a puppet or toy? Again, I pause and ask more deeply, What is this all about? Why do I want to scream and shout? Let me out, let me out. Alas I fall down and finally let go. The silence is surreal, the emptiness aglow.

Again I look around and I see I’m still here…only what’s left…nothing to fear. I breathe a deep sigh and realize all is well…no more lies. I move more slowly and not as lonely. I feel a comfort begin to enter and open gently to the touch of emptiness…entering my being and surrounding my soul. Is this the dance of becoming whole?

I wonder a moment and now this is gone…I’ve awaited and put off and escaped from this moment for far too long. It’s not what I thought, the lies were deep…melting into this…is like a long lost sleep. It’s restful and quiet and empty of words. It’s here for me now and welcoming me home…to be here and alone in silence.